What is this doing in here, habibi?

Every night we read new bills in Congress, section by section, and flag the parts that have nothing to do with what the bill says it's for. The jokes are silly. The facts are not. Every flag links to the real text.

bills read: 76
sections judged: 163
snuck in 🌶️: 2

The Delicious Irony Award

Most off-topic section this week

Sec. 3. Trade Regulation Rule on Impersonation of Government and Businesses

found in H.R. 10885, Providing Real Oversight of Third-parties Executing Certain Transactions for Small Restaurants Act

“Habibi, I ordered pad thai and the delivery app brought me an FTC rule on impersonating government agencies. Is this in disguise too?”

What it actually does: Section 3 gives the force and effect of law to the Federal Trade Commission's final rule titled Trade Regulation Rule on Impersonation of Government and Businesses, published at 89 Fed. Reg. 15017 on March 1, 2024.

77👀 Something snuck in

Other suspicious bits 👀

Snuck in

Sec. 4. Intelligence support for Ukraine

in H.R. 10866 · Ronald Reagan Peace Through Strength Act of 2026

“Habibi, we came to talk oil import waivers and somehow left with a spy-satellite subscription and a 24-hour outage hotline.”

71👀 Something snuck in

Hmm, maybe

Sec. 3. Expansion of definition of electioneering communication

in H.R. 10814 · Require the Exposure of AI-Led Political Advertisements Act

“Came for AI deepfake labels, got a full renovation of what counts as an online political ad. Habibi, the AI sticker brought a whole toolbox.”

56🤨 Hmm, habibi?

Hmm, maybe

Sec. 301. Grants to establish State ballot materials tracking program

in H.R. 10907 · Stop Harassment and Intimidations in Elections through Legal Defenses (SHIELD) Our Elections Act

“Came for an anti-intimidation shield, habibi, stayed for a ballot package tracker with 'out for delivery' updates. Very on-theme mail.”

51🤨 Hmm, habibi?

Hmm, maybe

Sec. 2. Determination of Budgetary Effects

in H.R. 10990 · For the relief of Paula Valentina Albornoz Hernández, Eliana Karina Hernández Peranquive, Nicole Alejandra Albornoz Hernández, and Leonardo Albornoz Rodríguez.

“A private relief bill for one family, and suddenly, habibi, the accountants arrive with spreadsheets like uninvited cousins at dinner.”

43🤨 Hmm, habibi?

Hmm, maybe

Sec. 201. Critical infrastructure and microgrid program

in H.R. 10917 · Wildfire Emergency Act of 2026

“Habibi, we came for forest restoration and somehow ended up shopping for dynamic line rating and microgrids for the jail.”

40🤨 Hmm, habibi?

Every bill we've read 📜

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